


The Thing About Andrew

by aristotlethecat



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Found Family, M/M, Mutual Pining, This Was Supposed To Be A One Shot, Working through trauma together, a bit of angst, am i doing this right, but I guess god had other plans for me, dysfunction, fluff at some point probably, idk how tags work, kevaaron - Freeform, mutual hatred, the Andrew choking Kevin thing, violence is not the answer andrew, yeah im kevaaron trash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:26:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 10,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26395621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aristotlethecat/pseuds/aristotlethecat
Summary: Kevin is ignoring Andrew after canon events because of the choking thing and he finds solace in late night talks with the more sane of the two twins who has also suffered at his brother's hands.
Relationships: Kevin Day & Aaron Minyard, Kevin Day/Aaron Minyard, kevaaron
Comments: 28
Kudos: 158





	1. For what it's worth, I get it

**Author's Note:**

> Um yeah so this was supposed to be a one shot but here I am with this and it's clearly not finished so idk how long this will be. Probably not super long because I wasn't planing for it to be a fully fleshed out thing, but longer than one chapter. Enjoy, I guess? (Also beware it's unedited because I never edit things so deal with it.)

Kevin wasn’t talking to Andrew. He also wasn’t talking about Andrew. Frankly, he didn’t even want to hear the name Andrew out of anyone’s mouth or see the telltale blond locks and black armbands that characterized the man. He was sick of playing Andrew’s games, sick of hiding behind him, of being at his beck and call, of being his punching bag.

He’d gone too far, this time.

It wasn’t like Kevin hadn’t seen it coming. He’d have to have been blind to not notice the way he’d softened with Neil, the way Neil seemed to be every bit as much of someone Andrew relied on as vice versa, the way Andrew’s priorities seemed to have shifted so that Neil was the new Kevin, protected at all costs.

He didn’t blame him for that. Kevin had been through a lot, but he’d never been on the run. He’d never changed his name. He’d never been wanting for basic necessities such as food and shelter (though his diet had been restricted while at The Nest). Neil’s life was arguably much more tragic, his life much more at stake, than Kevin’s was. And on top of that, the boy had never learned to keep his mouth shut. His life was arguably much more at stake, much more in need of protection, than Kevin’s.

What he did fault Andrew for was the chokehold.

The night had been a blur for all of them, from the weird almost-revelation of the true nature of Andrew and Neil’s relationship to the noise of the crowd as angry exy fans protested the Foxes’ victory. How was Kevin supposed to have noticed Neil’s bag dropping to the ground, the boy being pulled away by the allies of his father? How was he to know where they’d taken him? How was he to have done anything about it?

But when they’d gotten on the bus and the head count came up one short, Andrew turned to him and this is what he demanded. And when he admitted to having no clue, Andrew attacked. 

Andrew’s fingers were like every other part of his body. Short and stubby, but strong. Unrelenting. His fingers didn’t fit fully around Kevin’s neck, but they didn’t have to. They did their damage anyway, left Kevin bruising and gasping for air when Renee and Matt had finally been able to pull him off. Left Kevin with his vision spotted, seeing visions of darker times, memories he’d long before repressed that surfaced once more with the reminder of what pain delivered by someone you cared about felt like.

So Kevin wasn’t talking to Andrew. He’d powered through the rest of the exy season, powered through long, grueling practices and games where he had to look Andrew in the eye and pretend the action didn’t make him want to break down and cry right then and there, knees in the turf and head in his hands. He’d sacrificed everything for that win against the Ravens, including his own mental well being, and found in the end that he was still on the side of one of his abusers. That perhaps he’d never get away.

This was, of course, too much to dish out. Too much on the plate that Andrew would have no trouble smacking it away with his own problems. Excusing it because of his own tragic background.

Kevin was tired of not being enough. Of being number two. And if he needed to ignore Andrew to get away from that, then nobody should question his decision. He knew what was best for his goddamn self, and who were the foxes to question that?

Of course, they were foxes.

It was 5am, Kevin was in the kitchen with a mug of black coffee, and Aaron walked in. For a moment, Kevin thought it was Andrew, but then the boy raised a brow and one corner of his mouth quirked the tiniest bit and he knew it was Aaron. 

“Couldn’t sleep or morning run?” Aaron said, and Kevin had never been more grateful for small talk.

“Not a wink,” Kevin said. “And also morning run.”

“Cheers to that,” Aaron said as he poured his own cup of coffee. They drank in comfortable silence for a while, absorbing the caffeine into their blood stream, before Aaron spoke up again.

“I know you’ve been getting shit about what’s going on with my brother,” he said, “but, for what it’s worth, I get it.”

Kevin turned to Aaron, who kept his gaze firmly on the mug in front of him, and the funny thing was, Kevin totally believed him. Because here was the boy who’d only ever wanted to live his life, the one who’d been in for a rude awakening when he found out he had not only a brother but a twin at that, and who’d been in for an even ruder awakening when he found out that same brother had killed the mother who raised him, who kept him alive in the most vulnerable years of his life, who parented him, albeit not in the most functional way. 

So even though Aaron didn’t care, had never cared, about Andrew as much as Kevin did, he’d suffered by his hand, and so Kevin believed him when he said he understood.

Kevin downed the rest of his coffee in one gulp and placed his mug in the sink.

“Wanna come on a run with me?” he asked Aaron.

Aaron tilted his head to the side like he was trying to figure something out, then said, “It’s no wonder you’re so fit if this is how you work through your emotional trauma.” 

Kevin raised a brow at that. Aaron knew just as well as anyone that Kevin had some much less healthy coping mechanisms.

Aaron emptied the latter half of his coffee into the sink and said, “Ok.”

Ok.


	2. You're Worth More Than That

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kevin is clumsy and Aaron gets to practice his bedside manners.

It became somewhat of a habit.

Not in the sense that they did it every day, because even the insomniacs of the world need to pass out sometimes, but in the sense that if they were ever awake together in ungodly hours of the morning, they went on a run. They went on a route that was all their own, devised through a need to be both out of the house for as long as possible and get away as far as possible. They lost hours in the morning, running to the locally owned deli a few towns over, grabbing a quick bite to eat for breakfast, and running back. 

And they talked.

That was the most surprising part, Kevin thought. Aaron had always been a bit of a quiet force, not unlike his brother, but Kevin found that once you got him talking it was hard to get him to stop. Kevin had probably learned more about the human body in these runs than he ever had in Biology, and he almost felt like he knew Katelyn himself from the amount that Aaron talked about her.

And Aaron managed to get Kevin talking, too. Not as much, but he found that it was easy with Aaron in a way that it never really had been with anybody else. He didn’t feel a need to talk about exy to connect with him, like he did with Neil, but he also knew that Aaron wouldn’t judge him like the others did for the amount that he did happen to bring it up, which was a lot. He couldn’t help it if exy was on his mind a lot, but it wasn’t his life, and Aaron seemed to understand that.

The one thing they didn’t talk about was Andrew.

It was kind of nice to have a space where he wasn’t brought up, actually. Kevin felt like he’d been suffocating for so long, willingly, under Andrew’s protection, Andrew’s gaze, in Andrew’s shadow. He’d needed to get away from that almost as much as he’d needed to get away from the Nest.

“Neil tried to get me to talk to you,” Aaron said while they were on one of their runs. Kevin turned to look at Aaron.

“What about?” he asked, but he already knew.

Aaron shook his head. “I’m not going to,” he said. “I just thought you should know.”

The gesture was so unexpected that Kevin lost his footing. A crack in the sidewalk was to be his downfall, it seemed, as he fell to the ground and scraped his knee against the pavement. He hissed at the sting of concrete digging into his skin but got up without a moment’s hesitation, and only refrained from running again once he got his footing because Aaron had stopped.

He looked at Kevin with wide eyes and furrowed brows, as if Kevin was missing something obvious, and when Kevin made no move to figure out what it was, he said, “You’re bleeding, Kev,” and gestured to Kevin’s knee.

He looked down. Blood dripped from the scrape he’d just earned, bright in the light of dawn, and Kevin did have to admit that it was moving pretty quickly. He sighed.

“We should head back, shouldn’t we?” They’d been running for ten minutes at this point—the obvious move would be to go back to the dorms—but Kevin found that he really didn’t want to, that he’d grown to cherish these mornings with Aaron, and he didn’t want it cut short.

“We can come back out when you’re fixed up,” Aaron says, “so long as you don’t pass out from blood loss. Come on.” He started to jog back in the direction of the dorms, and Kevin followed, after a moment’s hesitation.

“Thank you,” he said after a minute, “for not talking about him.”

Aaron’s mouth tightened at the corners, but he smiled the smallest of smiles and said, “We get along because of shared trauma via my brother.” He turned his head and smiled with his teeth. “Wouldn’t want to ruin that.”

Kevin smiled in return.

When they made it back to Fox Tower it was just past six and the lower half of Kevin’s leg was covered with half dried blood. He’d have to throw away his socks—one was stained beyond repair. 

Aaron led Kevin to the bathroom and told him to sit while he gathered supplies, to which Kevin made a joke about how lucky he was to be receiving free heath care from the future doctor. Aaron arrived back at the bathroom within minutes and wet a cloth to wipe down Kevin’s leg with. 

Kevin jumped when the cloth touched his leg. 

“Sorry,” he said. “Cold. Wasn’t expecting that.”

Aaron’s eyes flicked up to Kevin’s, then back down again as he focused on wiping down Kevin’s leg. For a moment, the silence was deafening. Then, Aaron spoke.

“I had to do this kind of thing a lot,” he said, “when my mom was alive.” 

“Oh,” Kevin said, stupidly. He didn’t know what else to say. Emotions were not his strong suit. Ignoring them by going on runs was.

Aaron shook his head. “She was never the best mom. She didn’t believe in babying me so she didn’t fix me up when I fell or wipe my tears when I cried.” He paused in wiping down Kevin’s leg and looked up at Kevin as he said, “And then when I got older she caused them. And I… I knew it was happening, logically, but she was still my mom, you know?” He looked down and resumed his care of Kevin’s knee. “I know he was right for killing her, but I hate that he did it anyway.”

And they were back to him. Why did it always come back to him?

Aaron finished wiping away the blood, and he set to work on dressing the wound. Kevin hissed when he put the antibiotic cream on, but squeezed Aaron’s shoulder to show he was ok. Aaron continued on and wrapped gauze around Kevin’s knee, taping it in place with medical tape.

“Thanks,” Kevin said, and Aaron nodded. A moment passed where neither said anything, then Kevin said, “You’re worth more than that, you know.” Aaron looked at him and he continued, “More than what your mom did to you. More than what Andrew did, no matter what his intentions were. You deserve to be treated so much better than that.”

Aaron stared at him for so long it was almost (almost) uncomfortable. But then he said, “You do too.”

That was the first time that Kevin, without a doubt, wanted to kiss Aaron Minyard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really say this thing is going to be short and then write a line like "That was the first time that Kevin, without a doubt, wanted to kiss Aaron Minyard" like that doesn't imply 50 more times... Idk y'all this might just go on until I feel like stopping it lol.


	3. You don't have to be afraid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kevin is a bit more sleep deprived than usual and Aaron knows this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I absolutely should've gone through this one and maybe even just skimmed for typos but honestly I'm too lazy and I just want to post it so deal.

It was 3am this time. It’d been about a week since they last went on a run together and despite the fact that it was his fault, that he’d been avoiding the kitchen at weird hours of the morning, had been avoiding Aaron, Kevin missed it. So much so that his sleeping pattern, already fucked up beyond recognition, had been even more fucked up in the past few days. Which was how he found himself, at five past three, with a cup of the strongest black coffee they kept on hand in Fox Tower and the worlds biggest headache.

Of course Aaron walked in. (Kevin was lucky like that.)

His eyes were bleary and his hair was messy and he wore those stupidly cute glasses of his and Kevin wanted to die a little bit just looking at him. He gulped down some more coffee.

Aaron watched as he did this, then said, “I thought maybe you’d finally gotten your shit together.” He looked Kevin up and down and Kevin’s skin crawled. “Seems it’s only gotten worse.”

Kevin shrugged. “You’re awake too,” he said, and Aaron quirked a corner of his lips.

“Touché,” he said. He eyed the coffee in Kevin’s hand. “Are you really going to go on a run at this time in the morning?”

He wasn’t. He was going to go to bed and wallow for a little while longer, freshly rejuvenated, so he could get it out of the way before he had to be alive in the morning for classes. But he couldn’t say all that to Aaron, so he said, “I was thinking about it.”

Aaron scoffed. “Fuck that.” He walked over to the couch and turned on Netflix, the volume low enough so it wouldn’t wake the others, and turned back to Kevin. “One movie, then we can run. We’re not going out at three in the fucking morning,” he said. 

Kevin ignored the way his stomach buzzed at Aaron’s use of the word “we” as he set down his mug on the counter and joined Aaron on the couch. It felt dangerous, being here. It felt too much like somewhere he could fall asleep and be vulnerable, and the man sitting next to him wore the face of an abuser and the face of a dream at the same time, both of which scared Kevin to death. 

Aaron turned his face to look at Kevin, and in the half light the corners of his face were softened, the edges blurred, and the dream took over. Kevin could almost imagine he was asleep if remembered what that felt like.

“I’m not him,” Aaron said, his jaw set. His voice was almost a whisper when he said, “You don’t have to be afraid.”

What he didn’t know was that he scared Kevin almost as much as his brother. What he didn’t know was that Andrew was only half of the reason Kevin was having trouble being in the same room as him right now. What he didn’t know was that Kevin was dangerously close to kissing him, right then and there, in the delirious state he was in, in the half lit room, in the middle of the night in a dream.

What Kevin said was, “I’m sorry.”

Aaron answered, “I know.”

They watched a movie. 

Kevin would be lying if he said he remembered the specifics of the movie. It was an action movie, with loud explosions and quiet dialogue that prompted the use of closed captions, and there was a boy and a girl, the same way there always seemed to be, and there was heartbreak.

Kevin must’ve dozed off for a few minutes, so he didn’t see the heartbreak himself, but he knew what’d happened when he woke and turned to Aaron and the boy’s cheeks were glossy with silent tears that he hadn’t bothered to try to wipe away.

“Katelyn?” he asked. He hadn’t spoken to Aaron in a week, but he had heard through the grapevine that the picture perfect relationship had shattered. (If anything, that had been all the more reason for Kevin to stay away. Single Aaron did not mean available Aaron, no matter how much he wanted it to.)

Aaron shrugged and took off his glasses. “She’s always been too good to be involved in my shit,” he said. “If anything, I’m glad she realized before anything got too serious between us.”

“But it still hurts,” Kevin said. He wasn’t an expert on relationships, but he knew what it felt like to be cast away because he was too much. Because dealing with everything that came with been a fox was a dealbreaker for most people. It was one of the main reasons he hadn’t been able to date since Thea. If anything, it was amazing Katelyn had blown past Aaron’s status as a fox in the first place. Everyone knew the foxes were fucked up, and the worst part was they weren’t wrong. It was no wonder there was so much pairing up between the foxes and not much outside of the group. Like attracted like.

“Stings a bit,” Aaron said, “but I’ll get over it, really.” He chuckled and shook his head. “The worst of it was just trying to convince Andrew not to kill her, to be honest. The breakup itself was… I saw it coming.”

Kevin didn’t know what to say other than, “I’m sorry.”

Aaron shook his head. A tear dripped off his chin onto his chest, but he didn’t seem to notice, or care. “Don’t worry about it,” he said. “She wasn’t the one, I guess.”

Kevin just barely restrained himself from leaning over and wiping his sleeve across Aaron’s cheeks. He stood instead. 

“We should go for a run,” he said. Aaron rolled his eyes and pulled Kevin back down to the couch by his wrist, which tingled where he touched it.

“The movie’s not over, dumbass,” he laughed. “I said one movie before running and you can’t even wait that long.”

Kevin crossed his arms. “You didn’t say it would be a long movie.”

Aaron wiped his face and said, “An hour forty-five actually. Pretty short.” He looked to Kevin with the smallest of smiles, teasing, and Kevin had to work to keep his breaths even. “You’ve got half an hour left, Kev. Let’s get through that first, then we can run.”

Kevin settled back into the couch without a word.

The next thing he knew, he was being shaken awake by Nicky as the sun shone through the blinds, tangled up in a fuzzy throw blanket with PALMETTO STATE FOXES printed in orange and with one pillow under his head and one on the floor. He’d fallen asleep.

He’d fallen asleep and Aaron hadn’t woken him, but had given him two pillows and a blanket instead and left him to rest.

He buried his face into the pillow to hide his flaming cheeks from the most nosy of the foxes. Aaron had taken care of him. And now he really wanted to kiss him. And he had absolutely not a fucking clue what to do about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all I don't know how long this will be. Pining Kevin is so fun to write, so I might just milk it for a bit...


	4. He was choking me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kevin has an unexpected visitor at his appointment with Bee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's like half the length as the others but that's how the flow went so I don't particularly care. Also not edited or read through. Shrug.

At Kevin’s next session with Bee, Andrew showed up.

He supposed he should have seen this coming, though he had been a bit preoccupied lately with thoughts of the better of the two twins and what it would be like to take off his glasses and kiss over the lids of his eyes before going down to his mouth and exploring what there was to be had there, and…

He’d been preoccupied.

Kevin sat down in the chair farthest from Andrew and focused all of his attention on Bee, his arms crossed over his chest.

“Is there a reason,” he asked, “that the perpetrator of my abuse has infiltrated my safe space today?”

Out of the corner of his eye, Kevin saw Andrews knuckles whiten as he tightened his grip on the arms of the chair.

Bee sighed. “He requested to be here so you two could talk in a safe setting with a mediator, but if you would like I can still tell him to leave,” she said.

“Please,” Kevin said, and swallowed. He had enough on his plate as it was without having to worry about working things out with Andrew. He had enough to worry about without having to worry about his fingers around his neck.

“Kevin, come on,” Andrew said. “Are you seriously going to do this? Shut me out like this without so much as an explanation?”

“I can and I will,” Kevin said. He closed his eyes. “Bee, please.”

She sighed. “Andrew.”

“I’m not leaving until that coward tells me why,” Andrew said. “For weeks he’s ignored me now and he won’t say a word about what I’ve done.”

“You know damn well what you’ve done,” Kevin said, eyes still closed. His voice went hoarse as he said, “If you don’t remember abusing me then I suggest you ask anyone else other than your boy-toy. They were all witness to it except for him, though I’m sure he could tell you too.”

He could tell he’d struck a chord because the room went silent. Kevin envied that Andrew could have ever forgotten in the first place.

“Oh,” Andrew eventually said. “I didn’t know that affected you so much.”

Kevin opened his eyes and looked at Bee, pleading with his eyes. “Bee,” he said, and his voice cracked. Fuck.

Bee cut her eyes to Andrew.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “Can we at least talk about it? I’m sorry.”

Kevin was having trouble breathing. Phantom fingers pressed on the tendons in his neck, stubby nails in his skin, until he couldn’t breathe, until stars showed up in the corners of his vision, stars of a constellation he hadn’t seen since the sixteen hour days of the Nest.

“Space,” he managed to choke out before he closed his eyes once more and tried to calm himself down, tried to picture a better time, like exy drills with Neil or running with Aaron. Sleeping on the couch with Aaron’s blanket and Aaron’s pillows and the dream-like quality of that night.

He came to an undistinguishable amount of time later with Bee’s hands on his arms and her face in front of his as she said, “He’s gone. It’s ok. He’s gone.”

He swallowed. “He was choking me,” he said.

“I know,” Bee said, and, seeing he was ok, she leaned in to hug him. “I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry. You know this story had to have some angst, to be fair. It's not like I was subtle about it being about the Andrew choking Kevin thing in the title. Also I'm not sure I got Andrew's voice quite right but oh well I tried (there's a reason I write Kevaaron and not Andreil. Not that I don't love Andreil but Andrew and Neil are so fucking hard to portray correctly. Thanks Nora.)


	5. It's a good look on you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while since Kevin and Aaron have run together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally finished editing my actual WIP so now it's officially done and I've been so bored so I just keep writing this. I hope you enjoy yet another 1k words of Not Getting To The Fucking Point. Here's your daily reminder that I do not edit this in the slightest before I post. I just think it's important to say.

It was five thirty. Aaron walked out of his bedroom and met Kevin’s eyes. Kevin held out a mug.

“It’s the fancy brand you like,” he said.

Aaron’s lips curled into a smile as he took the mug, and something loosened in Kevin’s stomach at the expression. Not apathy. Not Andrew. Then Aaron said “Thanks Kev,” and another thing entirely tightened in Kevin’s stomach.

He took another sip of his coffee. 

“It’s been a bit, huh?” Aaron said.

Kevin shrugged. “Been dealing with some shit,” he said.

“More than usual?”

Kevin smiled behind his mug. “A bit, yeah.”

Aaron sighed. “Me too,” he said, and they lapsed into silence as the finished their respective coffees and pulled on running shoes. 

The morning air had a different quality to it than the air at any other time of day. It was the crispness, the morning dew, the awakening of the world around them as the sun rose and the air warmed. It cleared Kevin’s head better than the strongest shot of vodka, better than the largest dose of cracker dust, and with Aaron by his side he felt like his problems were nothing. Like Andrew was nothing and Aaron was everything and Riko was nothing, nothing, nothing. 

And Kevin was just Kevin. Not Kevin Day, star exy player. Not Kevin Day, the Raven defect. Not Kevin Day, always number two. Just Kevin. 

Just Kevin felt like a lot more things were possible than Kevin Day ever did. 

“You’re smiling,” Aaron said, and Kevin realized with a start that he was. He shrugged, and Aaron chuckled. “Endorphins, huh?”

“Something like that,” Kevin said. Truth was, the exercise was only part of it. The other part was the freedom of the early morning, the wind at his back and Aaron at his side. The other part was that they hadn’t been out here together in a while, and it felt almost like a sort of home. It was comfortable, happy. 

Kevin was happy. Maybe that’s why he was smiling.

“It’s a good look on you,” Aaron said. Kevin turned to look at him and found him smiling back. “Don’t see it too often these days.”

Kevin was glad for the crisp morning air that had already chapped his cheeks. He was sure his blush would be obvious otherwise. 

“Don’t have a reason for it very often,” Kevin replied.

Aaron made a noise somewhere between a scoff and a laugh and said, “And early morning runs when you can’t sleep are a reason?”

“Yes,” Kevin said. He ducked his head and looked forward once more, and his smile took on a teasing quality. “Aren’t they for you?”

Aaron took a moment to answer, but eventually said, “Only for the sandwiches.”

Kevin laughed out loud at that. He didn’t laugh very often, so it was a weird feeling, but not altogether unpleasant. Especially since Aaron had prompted it. 

They ran in silence for a while after that until Aaron pointed out a particularly enthusiastic squirrel and they lapsed into normal conversation about this-and-that until they arrived at the deli. They got their sandwiches and sat down on the curb, playing the car color game until Aaron brought up Neil again.

Kevin groaned. “Why won’t they leave me alone?”

Aaron frowned and punched Kevin’s arm—another blue car had just drove by. “He seemed concerned,” he said. “Like something happened.”

The words hung in the air between them, but Kevin did nothing to address them. His silence was enough for Aaron, anyway.

Aaron exhaled through his nose and took another bite of his sandwich. He swallowed before saying, “If you need me to do something about him, just tell me.” He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Now that Katelyn’s out of the picture, I have something on them. I can make him stop.”

Despite how completely counterproductive it would be, Kevin had the sudden urge to lean over and kiss the life out of Aaron, there in the daylight, where anyone could see them, where anyone could witness Aaron’s inevitable rejection, where the world lived and breathed around them. He stuffed his mouth with his next bite of his sandwich and found comfort in the amount of effort it took to chew through the bite. He needed to channel his energy into something more productive than fantasies about Aaron—it was getting too close to reality, and Kevin feared what would happen if he ever let anything come to light about his feelings for him. 

When he’d finally chewed through the bite and managed to swallow it, he said, “That’s not necessary. But thank you.”

Aaron’s responding smile was sad. “You’re so much better than he ever deserved to have,” he said.

Kevin wanted to say that Andrew’d never had him. That he’d had Andrew, that he’d been so lucky to have Andrew to protect him from all the bad people in his past, all the harm that would’ve come to him otherwise. That Andrew hadn’t needed to deserve him, he’d needed to deserve Andrew.

That was what he would’ve said before. It was a soft blow to the gut, the reminder of what he’d thought before and how it had changed. Surprising, painful, but not harsh. At the very least not enough to make the phantom fingers reappear. That was Kevin’s scale for how bad a situation was now. A scale from nothing to feeling Andrew’s fingers around his neck.

Kevin leaned over and punched Aaron’s arm. A yellow car had passed.

Aaron grinned over at him and Kevin smiled back. 

“It’s the sandwiches,” Aaron said, and gestured to his face.

Kevin snorted and stood to throw the wrappings from his sandwich in the nearest trashcan. “Yeah, ok,” he said. “And mine’s because of the sleep deprivation.”

Aaron nudged Kevin with his shoulder as he passed to throw his sandwich wrapper away, and Kevin almost picked him up and spun him around. (Legitimately. He had to stuff his hands in his pockets.)

“Race you to the lamppost over there,” Aaron said, and took off running. Kevin laughed, loud and proud, and raced after him. 

Yeah, there were a couple reasons why he smiled that morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told y'all Pining Kevin is too much fun to write. I don't really have much else to say for myself.


	6. You hurt him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron confronts Andrew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short one, but surprise surprise a different perspective! It took a bit to get this one started until I realized it would work better if I told it from Aaron's POV and then I went from there and here it is. Not edited. Obviously.

Aaron didn’t know what he’d thought he would say when he marched up to Andrew after practice one day, but it hadn’t been, “Why’d you do it?”

Andrew blinked at him. Once. Twice. Neil nudged him, which earned him a glare from Andrew before he turned back to Aaron.

“Most of the time I know what shitty thing I’ve done,” he said, “but this time I’m not quite catching your drift, so you’re going to have to be a bit clearer. Why did I do what?”

Aaron licked his lips and pressed them together as he gritted his teeth against his rising blood pressure. He breathed once, through flared nostrils, and said, “Why did you choke Kevin?”

Neil cocked his head to the side and his eyebrows lifted, as if that hadn’t been what he was expecting to hear from Aaron’s mouth but now he was intrigued. Fuck Josten. He’d kept so many secrets for so many months yet he seemed keen to pick at everybody else’s. Aaron gripped his sexy stick harder to keep his rage from bubbling over and making him do something that would prompt Andrew’s knife at his neck. He was his brother, yeah, but after the whole Kevin ordeal, Aaron wasn’t quite sure anymore whether even he ranked above Neil on Andrew’s list of property. 

Andrew clicked his tongue. “Interesting,” he said. Aaron wanted to smack the apathy off his face. Was it too much to ask that Andrew show human emotion, just once, just so Aaron could know he at least regretted his actions? That was all he wanted. Remorse. Sorrow. Anything. His heart rate spiked.

“Are you going to answer the question or not?” he asked, and to his dismay, Andrew shrugged.

“Maybe if I feel like it,” he said. “Maybe if His Majesty would come over here and ask me himself and have a regular adult conversation about it.”

Aaron scoffed. “Right,” he said. “A normal adult conversation. Kind of like the one you had with him when Neil went missing, right? Oh, that’s right, you didn’t. You choked him. You abused him, after all he’s been through. Why?” Aaron was well aware that he was getting too worked up at this point, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. He’d seen firsthand how what Andrew had done had affected Kevin. The toll it had taken on his health, to the point where his eye circles had gone from dark to bruising over the past few months. The way Kevin flinched every time Andrew’s name was even spoken in conversation.

He didn’t know how Kevin managed to even be around him. He had the same face, the same body. The same fingers that Kevin had admitted kept him up at night sometimes with their phantom touch. But somehow Kevin saw past that, saw Aaron instead of his brother when he looked at him.

He was too good for Andrew. He was too good for anyone.

“You were there, Aaron,” Andrew eventually said. “I wouldn’t think you’d need me to spell out what I was doing.”

“I didn’t ask what,” Aaron said. “I want to know why. Why did you choke him when you could’ve just asked him.”

Andrew looked down, shrugged. “He took too long,” he said. He shook his head. “I didn’t mean for it to happen that way. He knew about Nathan and Baltimore and he was taking too long to tell me.”

Aaron clicked his exy stick against Andrew’s and Andrew looked up. “You hurt him,” he said. He was going to continue, but found there was nothing else to say. Nothing else that mattered. Andrew had hurt Kevin. He hadn’t thought about the consequences when he’d done it and now that he suffered them he only pushed more, made it worse, hurt Kevin more. Aaron shook his head and swallowed and repeated, “You hurt him.”

Andrew walked away, Neil in tow. 

They’d made a lot of progress in their sessions together, but in that moment, Aaron had never hated his brother more.


	7. Only in the good ways

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron can't sleep. Running with Kevin it is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not edited. Yes I know about the typo in the last chapter. No I'm not going to do anything about it, that shit's hilarious.

Kevin found Aaron sitting outside on the concrete steps leading up to one of the entrances to Fox Tower after he got back from a late night/ early morning training session with Neil the next week. Aaron stood when he came into view.

“Mind if we go for a run now instead of later?” he asked.

Kevin wouldn’t have minded if they went both now and later, but he said, “Yeah, ok.” It wasn’t like he’d be getting any sleep any time soon otherwise. 

So they set off, on their usual route, at even earlier a time in the morning than usual, and Kevin closed his eyes against the streetlight and let the spitting rain that had started a few minutes prior mist his face. It was a similarly calming sensation as running in the morning was, only this time more ethereal. More like a dream.

That wasn’t exactly safe, given Aaron, the other dream, was with him at the moment, and he didn’t know what dream-Kevin might decide is ok to do, but he was here now. It was already happening. And it had been Aaron’s idea. Kevin couldn’t exactly say no.

He opened his eyes, water coating his eyelashes like teardrops, and spared a glance at the boy beside him. Aaron was already looking at him.

He cracked a grin when he saw Kevin looking. “Hey,” he said. 

Kevin could’ve died happy, seeing that smile. He struggled to keep his breaths even as he responded, “Hi.” 

Aaron was wearing his glasses, as he often did late at night when he was studying for something big, and he took them off to wipe the water droplets away with his shirt. They only smudged, so Aaron, with a frown, replaced his glasses on his face and pushed them up onto his head as if they were sunglasses. Kevin didn’t know whether to look at his lower lip, the way it stuck out, cutely, or his hair, wet and spiky with the rain and the glasses. He watched with a smile.

Aaron looked over at him and shrugged, though Kevin could’ve sworn that maybe, in the dim streetlight, he saw a small blush spread over his cheeks. 

“Bad idea to wear my glasses,” Aaron said.

Kevin barely refrained from making a comment that they were cute and instead said, “I guess so.” They looked at each other for a moment longer before Kevin looked forward once more, figuring that he may be creeping a little bit, with all his staring.

“So,” he said. “I heard you got in a little scuffle with our favorite person?”

A sigh. “Was hoping you wouldn’t hear about that.”

“Really.” Kevin paused. “Why?”

He saw Aaron’s answering shrug in his peripheral. “Just not my proudest moment,” he said. “Didn’t really go how I planned.”

“How did you plan?”

Aaron shook his head. “Not how it went. I got mad. Out of control. Couldn’t hold the conversation.” He paused, then said, “Sometimes I’m more like him than I think.”

Kevin smiled. “But only in the good ways,” he said, to which Aaron scoffed.

“I’d hardly call anger issues a good trait,” he said. 

“I suppose not.” Kevin shrugged. “But loyalty, protectiveness…” He let the words spread out between them, let them lasso his heart to Aaron’s and pull it even closer. This was getting way too out of hand. He swallowed anyway and said, “Thank you. I… it means a lot to me that you think I’m someone worth protecting.” Someone worth loving. Kevin tried not to shiver as the thought presented itself. He was venturing into dangerous territory having thoughts like this. Having hope like this. He could almost imagine that Aaron liked him back. That he wanted to be close to Kevin in the same way Kevin wanted to be close to him. Heart to heart, soul to soul, chest to chest. 

Kevin closed his eyes again and collected himself. Thoughts like this were dangerous. They had the potential to become words, or worse, actions, and Kevin didn’t know what would happen if he messed up what he had with Aaron. He was already struggling enough, having lost Riko, having lost Andrew.

“You don’t need my protection, Kev,” Aaron said. “Just like you didn’t need his. You’re the queen, the deadliest piece on the board. The rest of us, we’re all just pawns.”

Kevin opened his eyes and smiled over at Aaron. “At the very least, you’re a bishop,” he said. He wanted to tell Aaron he was the king to his queen, but he figured that was probably bordering on being way too obvious and simultaneously a bit of an insult because Riko had been the king before. Maybe they weren’t chess pieces. Maybe they were just Aaron and Kevin, and they were equal, and neither was in second place to the other. Kevin had never been involved in any sort of relationship where he was equal with the other person, but he realized with a smile that did seem to be the way his relationship with Aaron was. Two neighboring kingdoms. Both queens. Peace and unity throughout the lands.

It sounded like a dream.

Aaron ran closer to Kevin and nudged him with his shoulder for lack of a response, and Kevin, despite the rain and despite the hour, felt warm all over. He was so gone for Aaron at this point. He didn’t know how nobody else had seen it yet. Especially Aaron. 

Kevin plucked Aaron’s glasses from his head and fit them over his eyes.

“Holy shit,” he said, and pulled them away from his face. “I thought these were just reading glasses. You really can’t see, can you?”

Aaron rolled his eyes. “They’re not that bad,” he said. “Drama queen.”

Kevin held three fingers in front of Aaron’s eyes. “How many fingers?” he asked.

Aaron slapped his hand away. “Fuck off, Day,” he said, but he was laughing. “Not everyone can have twenty-twenty vision like you. I can see just fine without them, I just can’t read.”

Kevin put them on again and squinted at his surroundings. “The grass is a green blob. Wait, what the fuck is—oh, that’s just a car. What the fuck Aaron. What the fuck.”

“I can see enough,” Aaron said as he ripped his glasses off Kevin’s face and replaced them on his head. “Fuck off,” he repeated, smiling up at Kevin. 

Kevin laughed. He liked laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, this took longer than usual. Schoolwork is starting to pick up. And yes this is 100% fluff. I'm not sorry. maybe I'll get around to getting them together at some point...


	8. You want to fix it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron and Andrew come to an understanding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unedited. Probably a bit melodramatic. I'm not sorry, this entire series was melodramatic as heck and it's published so.

Aaron had to have a talk with Bee before he understood. 

“I don’t know why I freaked out so much,” he said in his next joint meeting with Andrew. He had his glasses off and he looked down at them in his hands as he spoke. “I was just… It wasn’t ok, what you did to Kevin. I got mad.”

Silence. Thick and heavy, like the humidity in July. Then, Bee said, “Andrew, how did you feel when Aaron freaked out on you?”

Andrew heaved a sigh and Aaron closed his eyes. “I don’t know,” he said. “I guess I kinda felt like I deserved it, so I took it. You saw how Kevin was with me before—I messed up.”

Aaron opened his eyes and looked over at his brother. “Before?”

“He didn’t tell you?” Andrew asked, and Aaron shook his head. Andrew swallowed. “I showed up to one of his sessions so we could talk things out. It didn’t go so well.”

Aaron would be lying to say he was surprised. He brought a hand to the bridge of his nose and rubbed. “A few weeks ago, I’m guessing,” he said.

Andrew didn’t answer which meant he was right. He sighed.

“I knew he was acting weird,” he mumbled, then shook his head. “Why did you do it? He was avoiding you for a reason.”

“A reason he wouldn’t tell me,” Andrew said. “I didn’t mean for him to freak out and… panic like that.”

Aaron closed his eyes again and put his hands over his face. This was all too much. Talking through this with Andrew. Talking about Kevin. Talking about this whole fucking situation. Andrew. Kevin. Himself. Too much.

He didn’t realize he was crying until he felt Bee’s hand on his back. He pulled his hands away and found that they were wet and he looked up at Bee standing next to him.

“Are you ok?” she asked as she rubbed circles on his back.

He shook his head. “I don’t know,” he said. “It… hurts me. When Kevin’s hurt. I don’t know how to describe it, it’s like I can’t stand to see him in pain, or talk about him in pain, or…” He wiped his cheeks and took a shuddering breath. “I don’t know. I just can’t stand it. That’s why I got so angry.”

Bee hummed. “You two have been getting close lately, yeah? Kevin’s been talking about you,” she said.

Aaron nodded. “We have a lot more in common than we thought,” he said, and took a peek over at Andrew. His expression was as unreadable as ever, but he was watching him and Bee which at least meant he was interested. Aaron looked down and chewed on his thumbnail.

Bee nodded. “That’s common with trauma patients,” she said. “But there must be more, isn’t there? What’s been bothering you about Kevin’s pain?”

Aaron was silent for a long time. Then, eventually, Andrew said, “You want to fix it. But you don’t know how.”

Aaron looked up again and found himself caught in the middle of Andrew’s intense stare. He shivered. “Yeah,” he said. “Exactly.”

It was another few moments before Andrew said, “That’s why I did it.” He breathed in, out. “I didn’t know what to do. I just knew I had to get to Neil. I knew he would be in pain and I couldn’t stand it.”

Aaron could feel his heartbeat in his fingertips. “Neil?” he said. His voice was hoarse.

“Kevin?” Andrew answered, and Aaron swallowed. 

Bee finally cut in. “It’s been a while since Katelyn by now, hasn’t it?”

Aaron didn’t even have the capacity to answer her question. All he could think, all he could hear, all he could say, was “Kevin.” He shuddered as the name left his lips and pressed his eyes shut again as a fresh round of tears surfaced. “Fuck.”

Aaron was so deeply, irreversibly in love with Kevin Day. 

And he hadn’t even known he liked boys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, finally. The plot has been forwarded. Something happened in this fic. Also I'm only a bit sorry for making Aaron cry. I may or may not be a bit of a slut for making characters cry. Deal with it.


	9. Does it have to do with me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kevin and Andrew finally talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not edited.

Kevin was angry.

He knew Neil could tell, with the way he was working him to the bone at their late night training, and he knew Neil wanted to ask, but he didn’t. And Kevin didn’t offer. Just barked orders at him, corrected his technique, as they worked through hours upon hours of drills and plays, sweat soaking through their jerseys like rain, blisters forming on their hands from gripping the racquet. It was well past their usual time in the morning, but Kevin couldn’t bring himself to care. It wasn’t like he had reason to try and catch an hour of sleep before five anyways. It wasn’t like he’d be out running.

Finally, Andrew stepped down onto the court. If Kevin was being honest, he’d been expecting this for a while, maybe even since he’d started ignoring him, but especially tonight. 

Andrew cut his eyes to his boyfriend, who took that as his cue to retreat to the locker room, then focused his gaze on Kevin, who, despite the workout, was still teeming with rage.

“I know you’re mad at me,” Andrew said, “but don’t you think taking it out on Neil is a bit misplaced?”

Kevin’s rage was definitely misplaced, but Andrew was mistaken if he thought it had anything to do with him. “Fuck off,” he said, and took off his helmet. “Not everything has to do with you, you know.”

Andrew’s face revealed nothing, but that was nothing new. “When you’re attacking him, it does,” he said. “I’ve told you I’m sorry. I’ve tried to open conversation with you. I don’t know what else to do here until you can agree to talk it out with me.”

Kevin rolled his eyes. “We’re talking now, aren’t we?” He shook his head. “If I was actively mad at you right now, you’d know.” He paused, sighed, then said, “I’m a long way from forgiving you… but I’m not angry anymore, I guess. It helps that you apologized.”

Andrew was silent for a moment, considering. Then he said, “So we can talk sometime soon, then?”

Kevin shrugged. “When I’m not dealing with other shit, maybe. To be honest this whole thing is one of my smaller problems right now.”

Andrew considered Kevin for a moment, his eyes taking in his appearance. “What happened?” he said. 

Kevin laughed, humorlessly. “I’m not going down that road with you,” he said.

But Andrew must’ve known more than he let on, because he said, “It has to do with my brother, doesn’t it?”

Kevin froze. In theory, he knew Andrew was observant. He knew he had a tendency to see things others didn’t, and that he kept extra close tabs on his brother. It wouldn’t have been hard for him to watch Kevin and Aaron these past few months and recognize Kevin’s crush on Aaron. On the other hand, however, his mind was already spiraling, coming up with worst-case scenarios where everyone knew, where the foxes were all laughing at him, where they leaked it to the press that Kevin was less than straight and his pro career was sabotaged before it could even take off. 

“What do you know?” Kevin said. In hindsight, it wasn’t exactly the smartest way to start off the conversation. For all he knew, Andrew knew nothing.

“Enough,” Andrew answered, in that annoyingly vague way of his.

Kevin sighed and shifted his weight. “He’s avoided me for two weeks now,” he said. “I know we didn’t used to talk before, but it’s hard having him ignore me like that. Hurts.” If he wasn’t so exhausted, physically and emotionally, he might have policed his words a bit more, made it less obvious that he liked Aaron if it wasn’t obvious already. As it was, he didn’t have the energy.

“He’s working through some stuff right now,” Andrew said, and Kevin blinked. Technically, he knew the twins had sessions together, knew there were some personal, emotions things they were bound to know about each other. It was weird hearing it from Andrew, though. Weird that he knew something about Aaron that Kevin didn’t. 

After a moment, Kevin said, “We used to work through stuff together. When we couldn’t sleep at night. We’d go running.” He wet his lips. “I thought I was someone he could confide in,” he mumbled.

Andrew shook his head. “It’s different this time.”

Kevin frowned. “Different, how?” He was whining at this point. He was well aware he was whining. He couldn’t bring himself to care.

“I can’t say,” Andrew said. “You’ll know soon enough, I’m sure. Once he gets over himself and talks to you again.”

Kevin didn’t want to ask. If he wasn’t obvious already, it would be a red flag, especially with Andrew, who knew more about Kevin than most anybody, who knew more about Aaron than anybody. He asked anyway.

“Does it have to do with me?” he asked. “The reason he’s ignoring me.”

For a second, nothing. Then, Andrew’s eyes narrowed. “You like him.”

Kevin’s cheeks burned. “You didn’t know?” he said, then shook his head. “Wait, so it’s not that?”

“No,” Andrew said. “It’s not—god, you guys deserve each other.” With that, he turned and walked away, in the direction of the exit. Kevin didn’t rush to follow. Andrew would probably leave without him, but he wasn’t in any hurry to get to the Maserati in any case. Running back to Fox Tower would be what was best for him at this point.

If Andrew had just found out about Kevin’s crush, if Aaron didn’t know, what was really going on here? Why was Aaron ignoring him? For the life of him, Kevin couldn’t figure it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I just want to get ahead of the narrative here before someone accuses me of being problematic. Kevin DOES NOT forgive Andrew in this chapter, and he's NOT over his PTSD with the whole situation. That's not what's happening at all. These two still have a lot to figure out, and it won't be easy and it won't be pretty. Frankly, even though the choking thing was the inspiration for this fic, I probably won't be touching on the healing process, because it's something I don't personally feel I can give justice to, and that would, frankly, take a long time that I wasn't planning on spending on this fic. In my mind, the healing process that needs to take place between Kevin and Andrew is nearly at the same level as the healing process between Aaron and Andrew, maybe even worse. Andrew is Kevin's abuser, and that kind of relationship can take years upon years to mend, if it's even possible to mend it 9which I do think it is with Kevin and Andrew, but my point stands that it would take a long time). Anyways, in this chapter, Kevin was sleep-deprived, stressed, and exhausted from an hours-long intensive workout and, with other things on his mind, was able to find it in himself to let go of the Andrew thing for a minute or so. It's not fixed. Where they are at the end of this chapter is barely improved from where they were in the beginning. Just thought I would make that clear.


	10. Don't ruin the moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron and Nicky have a heart-to-heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not edited.

In general, going to Nicky about anything you didn’t want the whole team to know by the next week was a bad idea. It wasn’t that Nicky had ill intentions—he just couldn’t keep secrets for the life of him. 

But it had been three weeks that Aaron had been stuck in his head, and he hadn’t gotten any closer to an answer, and he was getting desperate. Nicky was the only person he could think to go to, the only one who had experience with this kind of thing, the only one that Aaron could trust with such an… emotional matter. So, after practice one night, he worked up the nerve and knocked on Nicky’s door. 

“Come in,” came Nicky’s voice from the other side of the door, and Aaron did his best to ignore the weird look his cousin gave him when he walked in. I wasn’t that Aaron and Nicky never hung out together, but usually Nicky was the one to initiate. Aaron coming to Nicky was strange indeed.

Aaron closed the door and walked over to sit next to Nicky on his bed. “I need to have a conversation with you,” he said.

Nicky frowned. “Ok.”

Aaron kept his eyes firmly trained on the ground and said, “I don’t want to be having this conversation.”

“Ok?”

Aaron took a deep breath, adjusted his glasses, and said, “I like…” He shook his head. “I’m… I’m not exactly… straight. I think.”

For the first time in his life, Nicky was completely silent. Then, he said, “Ok, Aaron.” He sighed. “I don’t know what you want me to do about that, you’re going to have to be a bit more specific.”

Aaron wrung his hands together and found they were shaking. He looked at Nicky. “I’m freaking out,” he said.

“Shit,” Nicky said. He scooted closer to Aaron and took his hands in his. “You’re ok,” he said. “Aaron. You’re ok.”

“I don’t feel like I am, though,” Aaron said, out of breath. “I feel scared. I—I don’t know what to do.”

Nicky squeezed his hands. “I promise it’ll be ok,” he said. “And you don’t have to worry about doing anything about it right now. Do something about it when you feel like it, when you’re ready. There’s no pressure.”

“But there is.” Aaron looked down. “If I don’t talk to the guy I… He probably thinks I hate him. I’ve been ignoring him,” he said.

“You don’t have to come out to him to talk to him,” Nicky said, and Aaron cringed at the phrase “come out.”

“He’ll ask,” Aaron said.

“And you’ll say it’s personal,” Nicky said. “Or you’ll tell him if you feel comfortable. Either way if he’s anyone worth your time he’ll respect your decision.”

Aaron shook his head. “He deserves better than that,” he said. “I want to tell him. I trust him. I just… it’s all too much.”

Nicky rubbed circles on the backs of Aaron’s hands and said, “It’s really scary. Trust me, I know. Sometimes it still is. But, assuming this guy isn’t homophobic, sometimes it can pay off to take a leap of faith,” he said. “If he’s someone you trust, someone you turn to in hard times… Talking through things with him could be good for you. You don’t even have to tell him you like him. Just talk.”

Aaron sighed. “Things were so much easier with Katelyn.”

“I know,” Nicky said. “But sometimes the difficult things are the things that are most worth it.”

Aaron looked up at Nicky and forced a small smile. “Thanks,” he said. 

Nicky hugged him. “What are older gay cousins for,” he replied, and Aaron snorted. A few minutes later, when Aaron had calmed down a bit, Nicky said, “So do I get to know who this guy is, or—“

“No,” Aaron interrupted. “Don’t ruin the moment, Nicky, you were doing so well.”

“Fair point,” Nicky said, and they settled back into silence, into the hug, for a while. It was good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to do it. I feel like Nicky is under-utilized in a lot of kevaaron fics which is so strange to me because you KNOW Aaron would have trouble accepting himself and Nicky is literally a parental figure in Aaron's life, or was at a time. So this chapter really felt natural. 
> 
> Also I think I'm finally close to the end. One more chapter. Probably. 
> 
> Also I have an aftg Tumblr now @aarons-exy-stick . I wanted to do sexy stick after my typo but I felt like unless you've read my fiction that's just really weird lol. Follow me. Or not. Idk.


	11. I kinda lied a little

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kevin and Aaron finally have a Talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the longer wait than usual--stuff got busy, college, midterms, bleh. Again, not edited.

Without Aaron there to be Kevin’s impulse control and make him sit down and watch a movie instead, he left for his run at three forty-five in the morning. Warm rain fell over his shoulders and soaked him through to the bone, but it was a long run nevertheless, because his brain wouldn’t shut up and because he needed to be gone from the dorms for longer than half an hour.

Kevin had loved before, and he’d lost before. He knew what it felt like to be left all alone, to scramble to pick up the pieces from his own broken heart, without any help, in a vast sea, when he didn’t know how to swim. He still sometimes felt the absence of his mother, in the pit of his stomach, when he least expected. More often he felt the absence of Riko, the rat bastard, the raven king, his abuser.

His friend.

So he knew the feeling deep in his stomach well. He knew what it meant that he was this affected by Aaron ignoring him. Frankly, it was only more confirmation of what he already knew to be true. He’d fallen so hard for Aaron. It was debilitating.

And he was in love with him.

Goddammit. The running wasn’t working this time. He ignored Bee’s warning in his head and turned to head back toward Fox Tower for some alcohol. He should’ve known he wouldn’t be so lucky. When he walked in the door, the clock read six-oh-two and Aaron was there, a much of coffee in hand and a matching mug on the edge of the counter, waiting.

Aaron took a sip of his coffee and adjusted his glasses, his cheeks going red, Kevin guessed from embarrassment. The silence was deafening for a moment before Aaron broke it.

He gestured to the second mug. “For you,” he said. Kevin felt his own cheeks go hot, from anger or from happiness at the thought of Aaron thinking of him, he didn’t know. He raked a hand through his sopping hair.

“Why are you here,” he responded, only half caring about how whiny he must sound. What was the point of hiding this stupid crush anymore? Aaron had been ignoring him anyways, so what was one more reason to ignore him?

Aaron set his mug down but didn’t let go of it. His eyes were on the mug as he said, “We need to talk.”

Kevin scoffed and leaned against the wall, his arms crossed. “So talk,” he said. “Why are you avoiding me?”

Aaron sucked on his lower lip, and Kevin hated himself for thinking, at a time like this, that he wished it was his lip Aaron was sucking on.

“I’ve been going through something,” Aaron started. His hands wrapped tighter around his mug until his knuckles went white, and suddenly Kevin’s anger had dissipated and was replaced with worry. He’d known, from Andrew, that Aaron was having trouble with something, but he hadn’t realized how much it must’ve been affecting Aaron. He’d only been thinking of himself and how it affected him, and he felt his cheeks burn with shame as he realized this wasn’t about him. Aaron was going through a rough time, and he was finally ready to talk about it with him. Kevin should be grateful.

“Aaron,” Kevin said, and the boy looked up at him. “You can trust me.”

Aaron’s lips pulled into a tight smile. “I know,” he said. “It’s just… hard to talk about. I’ve never…” He shook his head. Took a deep breath and let it out. Let go of his mug and walked over to Kevin. “Kev,” he said. “Truth is, I like you.”

The words didn’t process for a moment, and when they did Kevin didn’t know how to take them. How could he be sure this wasn’t just the sleep deprivation getting to him? How could he know that Aaron wasn’t just some cruel hallucination his mind had transfigured only for him to snap awake and realize nobody was there? He was choking on his breath for a whole new reason. Goddamn these Minyard brothers.

Apparently Kevin was silent for too long because a terrible look crossed Aaron’s face and he started to turn and walk away before Kevin grabbed him loosely by the wrist. His hand tingled where he touched Aaron’s skin.

Aaron looked back at Kevin, his eyes searching, and Kevin said, “I like you too,” and suddenly they were at an impasse.

“Oh,” Aaron said.

“Oh,” Kevin agreed. He swallowed. “Um. What do we do now?”

“I don’t know,” Aaron replied. “I’ve never really been in this type of situation before.”

Kevin frowned down at Aaron. “Shit,” he said. “No wonder you were avoiding me.” He almost apologized for being a boy but then realized that probably wouldn’t be too helpful.

Aaron looked away and shrugged. “Don’t worry about it,” he said. “I—it’s weird, but. I’m getting used to it. I talked with Nicky.”

Kevin’s eyebrows shot up. “And the whole team _doesn’t_ know it yet?”

Aaron wet his lips and laughed, and Kevin felt like he was home. “I guess he can keep some secrets,” Aaron said, looking back up at Kevin.

Kevin smiled. Looked away, looked back, away again, and back again.

“What?” Aaron said.

Kevin scratched the back of his neck. “I kinda lied a little,” he said. “I don’t like you. I’m kinda, a little bit, slightly in love with you.”

A splotchy blush spread across Aaron’s cheeks and Kevin felt like his heart might burst. Fuck. He needed to kiss him.

Aaron buried his ace in Kevin’s chest and, in the quietest voice, said, “Yeah, me too.”

Kevin was so happy he laughed, and Aaron looked back up at him. Kevin held Aaron’s chin between his thumb and his finger and said, “If we’re going to kiss, you’re going to have to meet me halfway, because if I have to bend down that far I might need to see a chiropractor.”

Aaron laughed and wrapped his arms around Kevin’s neck. “It’s a deal,” he said, and, together, they closed the space between them and finally kissed. Kevin’s heart was pounding so hard he could feel it in his neck, and Aaron tasted like black coffee and spearmint toothpaste, and Kevin didn’t think he’d ever been happier.

They kissed for a while like that before Aaron decided it would be easier if he sat on the counter so he was closer to Kevin’s height, and they moved Kevin’s coffee cup and Kevin lifted Aaron onto the counter and they continued to make out for who knows how much longer before they were interrupted.

“No way,” Nicky’s voice came from the doorway, and Aaron pulled away from Kevin’s mouth and groaned into his shoulder. “It’s _Kevin_?”

“Fuck off,” Aaron said, and Kevin bit back a laugh at how it tickled when Aaron talked into his neck. He kissed the crown of Aaron’s head and pulled out of his embrace, relishing in the pouty look Aaron gave him in response.

“Shit, this is a _thing_ ,” Nicky said as Kevin held Aaron by the waist and helped him down from the table. Kevin was past the point of caring—he had Aaron now, and frankly he didn’t care if the world knew—but Aaron’s blush returned in full force as he walked to the other side of the counter to retrieve his coffee.

“Why are you even awake right now,” he asked his cousin as he put his mug in the microwave to reheat the coffee.

“Erik called,” Nicky replied, not bothering to elaborate on what exactly it was that his fiancé had wanted. “And I have an essay due in t-minus two hours so I figured I might as well get up.”

Aaron muttered under his breath and Kevin found himself having to hide his smile behind his own mug of lukewarm coffee. Aaron, as if sensing his stare, looked up to see Kevin sipping at his coffee and frowned.

“I know you don’t like it like that,” he said, and held out his hand for Kevin’s mug, his own already out of the microwave. “Let me heat it up.”

Kevin handed it over and had to duck his head away from Nicky’s gaze as his smile only grew.

“Christ,” Nicky said. “You made Kevin smile, what the fuck? Nice job, cuz.”

Aaron turned redder still and repeated, “Fuck you,” as he shoved Kevin’s mug into the microwave. Kevin walked over and gave him a kiss on the forehead because he felt like it, and Aaron grudgingly leaned up and kissed Kevin’s collarbone.

Life was good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I FINALLY DID IT, WOOOOO! Not gonna lie, it felt a bit like this would go on forever for a while there. It's so much fun making kevaaron suffer, you know? But of course I had to add the fluffy ending cause these are my boys and they deserve the world. Hope you enjoyed this nonsense, thanks for reading!


End file.
